


You're not my Eve

by QueenPotatos



Category: SK8 the Infinity (Anime)
Genre: Angry Sex, Angst, Choking, Dysfunctional Relationships, Light BDSM, M/M, Unrequited Love, this is not super explicit I'm afraid
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-28
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-12 17:00:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29762760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenPotatos/pseuds/QueenPotatos
Summary: They never kiss. Or rarely, in the heat of the action, and always by mistake.
Relationships: Kikuchi Tadashi/Shindo Ainosuke | Adam
Comments: 21
Kudos: 116





	You're not my Eve

* * *

Even if the circumstances are different this time, tending Ainosuke’s wounds brings back memories that Tadashi would have prefered never to resurface.

Ainosuke’s aunts, real harpies, had been clever enough not to leave any visible scars that could have betrayed their constant abuses. Bruises fade away with time, they become invisible to the eye for those who don’t know how to look past superficial perfection. Tadashi can’t remember a time of his life when he hadn’t been by Ainosuke’s side, sharing the good and the bad, and assuredly the wounds on Ainosuke’s forearms had been the worst they had gone through.

The first time it occured Tadashi found him crying outside, far from his father’s attention. The harpies probably knew where he went, and didn’t care; but Tadashi did. His family had been serving the Shindo for decades and his father always taught him to look after his master. Tadashi was to serve Ainosuke in the future, he was to be his attendant, his confidant, his shadow, the most loyal ally and an unbreakable weapon against the hardship the world would afflict him with. 

At first, he treated the bruises. It didn’t take him long to see the wounds Ainosuke wielded in his heart, and for which he knew no magic ointment.

That’s when he decided to teach him how to skate. In hindsight, it had perhaps been the worst mistake he ever made.

“Ouch.” Ainosuke gasps, surprised by Tadashi’s sudden touch. It has been harsher than he expects; lost in his thoughts, he has misjudged the distance between his hand and Ainosuke’s thigh. Yet Ainosuke doesn’t yell this time; instead he grins.

He’s delighted. 

The harpies tricked his brain, they broke his heart and now Ainosuke associates pain with love, and with skating - but that, is only Tadashi’s fault. If they hadn’t started skating right after each of his physical punishment, these ‘acts of love’ as his master called them, the situation would have never been this out of control. The way Ainosuke searches by skating a way to heal his soul, a new form of love to alienate the violence he still is the victim of from his own family, is entirely Tadashi’s responsibility. By constantly treating his sadness by skating together, Tadashi ruined him just as much as the harpies did.

Ainosuke only knows one way to love; it’s through pain and abuse. If he perfectly understands why most people find it sick and unhealthy, illegal even, Tadashi cannot forgive how his supposed friends treated him in the past, and treats him still. They don’t know of his darkest secrets, they never saw the bruises of his heart, they don’t know Ainosuke is only reproducing the only kind of love he had been showered in, the only one he had learned.

In that aspect, he never hurt Tadashi physically.

He calls him dog, sometimes by his name, a sign that even if he acts as if they share no common past, his memories haven’t vanished, but he’s rarely violent with him. He doesn’t love him enough. He hates him even. Tadashi knows, he knows why and he accepts.

_ ‘I have no opinion.’ _

Ainosuke can be so ardent when he loves, and there’s nothing worse than facing indifference with a heart as passionate as his. If Tadashi has to guess, he’d say it frustrates Ainosuke more than anything. That he cannot understand him.

They used to, but since his father forced them to move to America and burnt their skateboards, something broke in Ainosuke, and along with it the trust he put in Tadashi was destroyed. That’s probably where the hate comes from. That’s probably where the ‘dog’ comes from.

“Come here.” Ainosuke runs the riding crop against his cheek. It’s burning hot. “You’ll obey your master, won’t you?”

“Yes, Ainosuke sama.”

“You’ll be a good dog this time, won’t you?” He takes Tadashi’s chin into his grip, harsher than it used to be.

As his ‘S’ excursions hadn’t met his expectations lately, Ainosuke often feels the need to be loved. Since he cut ties with all his remaining friends, Tadashi figures he’s the only one who can fill this hole in his chest.

He takes the riding crop in hand when it’s being offered to him.

“Hit me.” Ainosuke orders, a whisper in his ear. “Hurt me.”

Love me, he begs.

And Tadashi always obeys. He’s careful not to hit any place that his suit cannot hide, that’s the pact they have; he hurts his back without joy, without passion, but because he has been asked to. Tadashi doesn’t judge. He obeys. That’s all he has to do.

Most people would find it pathetic, but it’s the life he has chosen. To be his master’s pet, and to follow his every order, his daily fantasy, to cover his tracks.

To satisfy him until they both collapse on his bed.

They never kiss. Or rarely, in the heat of the action, and always by mistake.

Tadashi only bites when he’s ordered to. Sometimes, he catches himself thinking it’s not what he wants, but soon he refrains his own thoughts from wandering too far from what his status demands. He has no word to say or oppose his master’s will. He has no opinion on that matter. He's just an executioner, the extension of Ainosuke’s will.

Yet there are times when he thinks of what they used to be, when he thinks of the joy in this child’s eyes that no one seemed to care about but him, and wondered if he hadn’t failed somewhere along the years, in showing him that there was more than one way to express love. In remaining constantly by one side, in anticipating their every need, in making sure they will never be more harm done to them. A shiver runs down Tadashi’s spine when his master caresses his side.

At some point, he thought he had saved him. But.

_ ‘I have no opinion.’ _

They can never go back to what they were before.

“Tadashi.” The name is spoken with an unexpected and frightening softness. For a second, Tadashi is scared of what Ainosuke will say. “Come here.”

And Tadashi obeys, he crawls on top of the bed where Ainosuke pushes him on his back with a hand around his throat.

He sucks in a breath. The grip is strong, strong enough to choke him to death. Enlightened by the moonlight, Ainosuke’s face is distorted with rage. His eyes shine with red. Tadashi can only stare back, lying still on the mattress, and in his own eyes nothing reflects - no fear, no tear, no emotion will transpire. He’s his master's pet after all. If he’s tired of him, well then…

“Why aren’t you saying anything?!” Ainosuke yells. “Are you so eager to die?”

“No.” Tadashi chokes. He doesn’t understand what Ainosuke wants this time, and the exhaustion and growing lack of oxygen doesn’t help him think straight.

“Don’t you feel ashamed to leave me behind? You’re a failure! You’ve been nothing but a failure all your life!”

“They’ll find someone...to...replace me…”

There are so many dogs outside. Anyone would do, he thinks.

The grip strengthens around his throat. He truly cannot breathe.

“How dare you tell me what I am supposed to do?! Who do you think you are?  _ What _ do you think you are?!”

“I...I…” he chokes. Ainosuke leans in, joins their forehead and from there, Tadashi can only stare at the madness inside his eyes, that is mixed with something else he cannot quite determine. Is it...sadness? No, it cannot be.

“What are you, Tadashi?!” He shouts at his face. His head spins.

“I...I am…”

“Who are you to me?!”

“I’m your…” Ainosuke’s eyes burnt against his. The room is getting dark, he’s going to lose consciousness. “Dog.”

Immediately the hands leave his throat, and Tadashi breathes again. He pants still when Ainosuke slaps his cheek.

“Good.” He says, with a bitterness and disgust he cannot conceal. “It’s good that you remember your place.”

Ainosuke gets off the bed and puts on his wardrobe. On his desk, he pours himself a glass of whiskey. 

“You’re not my Eve.” He says.

Hearing their safe word, Tadashi knows it’s time to leave. His presence is no longer required. With haste, he collects his clothes and walks back to his room without a word. And he’ll come back as soon as it becomes necessary again.

That’s just how things are, between a master and his pet. It cannot be any other way.

Tadashi lies down in bed, his cheeks aching for the very first time, and caresses his abused flesh mindlessly. It was the first time Ainosuke hit him.

  
  


Alone in his room, Adam finishes his drink before smashing his glass on the floor, carefully waiting for Tadashi to be far enough not to hear the racket it has caused.

“...You’re not my Eve.” He mumbles to himself.

The scars on his back hurt for a lot of different reasons.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> I was so thristy for them that I had to write smth.
> 
> You can follow [here on twitter!](https://twitter.com/doctor_queenie?s=09)


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